Diary of a Narcissistic Bloodsucker
Told in first person by the vampire herself (Zara), this is the diary of an ancient, self-absorbed, yet-amusing nightwalker. She lusts for both sex and blood. Unfortunately, something has gone awry and her normal habits now create new problems to solve. In the midst of sorting things out, she meets an intriguing human named Niven – a musician who lives in the magical kingdom of contemporary Boulder, CO – and discovers that he is much more than he appears to be. Then, if things weren't interesting enough, Zara encounters her old mentor/lover – the vampire who originally turned her – and things get downright supernatural.
GENRE: VAMPIRE HUMOR/SATIRE
“This is a terrific jocular E-book chick lit (Zara's first person perspective) vampire thriller that grips the audience early on with Zara's muses and the heat between her and Niven-Jeran and never lets readers go until the final shocking biting twist. Though a short story, readers will want to peruse future supernatural fiction by Lynda Hilburn as this is a superb paranormal short story thriller.”
~ Harriet Klausner
“Clever, sexy, and witty. This satirical story introduces us to a great character. The story contains a twist that remains true to the character.”
~ Lynn Jordan, author
“Brilliantly witty! Zara is no ordinary heroine, she is egotistical and totally self-centered but somehow we can relate to her and be happy that she is willing to share her thoughts with us as she takes us on a saucy, roller-coaster of a romp. Very funny at times, and told in a chatty, 'unsinister' manner, the sex is hot enough to be exciting but Lynda Hilburn never oversteps the mark or makes us feel uncomfortable. Towards the end we find that Zara, too, has a heart, and knows the meaning of true love, but then there is the twist! A very enjoyable and satisfying read.”
~ Lyn Evans, author
“HOT, FUN, AND OH SOOOO DELICIOUS!!! This no apologies glimpse into the life of Zara, the oh so egotistical vampire, is a thrill ride from start to finish. I can't wait for the next diary entry!”
~ Lora Darling, author
“This is a wonderful tale filled with excitement and intensity, with never a moment I wasn't drawn eagerly along. The train of consciousness writing is fascinating and compelling in that it created a window through which to eaves drop on Zara's thoughts, musings and plans as she plots and "executes" (pun intended) her nightly activities. The skillful invoking of all the senses, especially the aroma of cinnamon rolls, drew me deeply in to the mystique. In places I was giggling and even laughing out loud. The higher consciousness elements lend a fascinating aspect to the story and reveal the psychotherapy interests and training of the author, which I believe sets this story apart from other writings in the vampire genre. This is truly a delightful, fun, funny, horny read and I eagerly await other stories by this obviously talented author, Lynda Hilburn.”
~ Karla Mahanna, Therapist & Educator
“Zara is a centuries old vampire, with many unique talents and much vanity. Over her lifetime, she has collected many possessions and much wisdom – not all as a result of her own hard work. Deciding to write her memoirs, she begins with a fond memory that is more than it first appears. Lynda Hilburn's Diary Of A Narcissistic Bloodsucker is a fascinating novella that had me hooked from the very first page! Told in the first person by Zara, this tale actively engages the reader in the plot in a way that I have yet to come across in other writings. As a character, Zara is brilliantly developed. She is completely selfish and self-absorbed, and whilst not your typical heroine she is nevertheless bound to strike a chord in you; you will love her pure shamelessness and complete lack of inhibitions or modesty. The plot is well developed and paced excellently, and you know not where Zara will take you next. There are sex scenes and they do get described in detail, but this is not a romance. The entire tale will come as a delightful surprise, and you are bound to read this fabulous tale again and again. I give my congratulations to Ms. Hilburn on concocting this delectable story and shamelessly request further episodes!”
~ Elizabeth, Fallen Angel Reviews
“Zara is a vampire queen. Or at least that is what she tells us in her diary. As she writes in her diary we learn about her mentor/lover, and the musician, Niven, who gets caught up in a deadly game. This was an interesting vampire tale. Told in first person, it is like reading out of Zara's personal diary. This story has it all. It is funny, sad, hot and sweet. I enjoyed this story and the rules of this vampire world. And hearing it from Zara as it unfolded.”
~ Astraea, Enchanted Ramblings
“What a trip! Great writing and wonderful characters. I was impressed. This was a truly inspired piece of vampire fiction, certainly one of the most imaginative pieces I've read in a while. I loved the premises of her vampire world. It's very imaginative. I love it when authors get creative and eschew the traditional mythos. I think the length was perfect – never boring, not too much. In short, Lynda did everything right. The humor is wonderful; the eroticism is likewise superb and perfectly done. Probably my favorite line: "There I was, caught up in the ecstasy of riding a very enthusiastic penis..." Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed this short piece and just wish I had more like it to read.”
~ Rick Taubold, "More Than Magic," Medallion Press
“Diary of a Narcissistic Bloodsucker is funny, witty and clever, clever, clever. Written in first person, Zara glorifies herself so grandiosely that you can't help but laugh and like her at the same time. The story itself is smart and fast paced; the sex scene is as funny as the rest of the story, which keeps the mood of the story light and believable. The twist at the end is also perfect; any other ending would have been corny and misplaced, considering Zara's character. The story leaves you wishing it were a full-length novel, which the author cleverly does not mention...but does not discount either. Perhaps "The Further Writings of a Narcissistic Bloodsucker" is in the works. One can only hope.”
~ Astrid Kinn, Romance Reviews Today
“All right, I admit I wasn't sure what to think when I picked this one. Wow, was I pleasantly surprised. Zara is a vampire, telling her story in spicy diary form. She's a tough woman . . . er . . . vampire and quite adept at getting what she wants. Confronted with Jeran, the man who created her, while she's enjoying another attractive man, she pulls a prank worthy of her prowess. Zara is a strong character with a definitive voice. I don't know that I'd exactly call this story a romance, but it is steamy and sensual in its own way. It's unique and sassy. I highly recommend this one to those interested in hearing the myths surrounding vampires busted or confirmed. Hear the truth from Zara herself. Lynda Hilburn is now on my “look for” list.”
~ Jennah, Paranormal Mirage Romance Reviews
"Ms. Hilburn has created a character that any reader could be attracted to. Her voice comes across as strong, and I found that Zara was a vampire I could see being a reality. This new twist on the vampire genre was quite entertaining and I look forward to more books from Ms. Hilburn on the subject. Her injection of humor into the paranormal realm is refreshing to this reader. All in all, I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a laugh-out-loud read."
~ Romance Junkies
“Ms. Hilburn's heroine truly lives up to the title of this short story. Told in first person, chick-lit fashion, Zara explains all about herself and vampires in general . . . The heroine's unapologetic, I-am-what-I-am philosophy . . . was done very well thanks to the author's appealing writing style and the surprise ending was fitting as a result . . . For those who like a sassy story and don't need a happily ever after, it should prove an adequate read.”
~ The Romance Studio